Dulu, aku kehilangan Cinta. Cinta pergi setelah aku sendiri menghalaunya. Cinta merajuk. Cinta pergi tanpa berkata apa-apa. Sunyi datang  selepas Cinta pergi. Sunyi menemani aku ke mana-mana. Ke sekolah, ke kedai, ke taman, ke mall. Tapi ada satu syarat Sunyi, Hati tidak dekat dengan Tenang. Walaupun Tenang terkadang menjenguk, tapi Sunyi pasti ada juga. Sunyi-lah teman aku ketika menangis. Tenang entah hilang ke mana.

Suatu hari Tenang memanggil. Disuruh Hati bertanya pada aku. ”Kau tidak mahu Tenang?“. Aku menangis lagi…Sunyi di sisi.

Hari itu aku keluar…dengan Sunyi. Hati bertanya lagi. ”Bagaimana Tenang?“. Aku terus berjalan diam. Aku lihat sekeliling. Aku lihat pokok, bunga, langit, tasik, awan. Aku senyum. Tenang muncul di sisi. Sunyi juga di sisi. aku tersenyum. Aku tahu, aku perlukan Cinta juga. Hati sudah berkata, “Panggillah Cinta semula, barulah Tenang kekal di sisi, dan Sunyi akan pergi“. Aku anggukkan saja.

Setahun kemudian, aku masih ada Sunyi di sisi. Tapi Tenang ada juga, bersama Hati. Walaupun Sunyi merengus, tapi Tenang tetap ada di sisi Hati. Aku juga, berkenalan dengan Sahabat. Dia baik dan aku  senang dengan dia. Sahabat tahu cerita aku kehilangan Cinta. Sahabat hanya tersenyum dan berkata, “Suatu hari Cinta akan muncul, kau tunggu sajalah“.

Benar kata Sahabat.

Suatu hari, aku ke mall. Bersama Dia. Yang bersama aku, hanya Tenang, Hati dan Sahabat. Sunyi hilanag ke mana. Aku senyum sahaja, nanti adalah si Sunyi ini. Tetiba Dia berkata sesuatu, tapi Hati sedang memandang sesuatu kemudian tercari-cari. Kutanyakan Hati, apa yang sedang dicari? Hati hanya diam. Tenang dan Sahabat ketika itu hilang juga entah ke mana. Sedang Dia sedang berkata-kata, Hati sekali lagi tercari-cari, kemudian….”….listen to me, I will always love you”.

Ketika itu aku tahu apa yang dicari-cari Hati dari tadi. Aku tersenyum. Di belakang Dia, aku nampak…Cinta. Dia datang kembali bersama Tenang dan Sahabat denagan senyum yang lebar. Dari aku  berdiri, aku lihat Sunyi pergi dan hilang dari pandangan.

p/s: I’m in love with Love

Hari ini setelah ‘facebook-ing’ during lunch, i reach to a sense of being an under achiever. Tapi saya bukan…kerana….

1.Ibu bapa saya sangat bangga saya berjaya habis degree saya dengan susah dan kepayahan yg amat….

2.Saya rasa saya bukan…

3.I’m not 30 yet….

4.Saya yakin saya bukan.

Jadi di sini ingin saya senaraikan benda-benda saya mesti lakukan sebelum umur 35 tahun…kerana selepas umur saya 35 tahun, dan saya masih belum mencapai kepuasan dalam hidup…there must be something wrong with my brain…definitely….

1.Kahwin…

2.Melahirkan 4 orang anak…

3.Mempunyai rumah sendiri.

4.Memandu semula

5.Lulus kelas bermain gitar

6.Bertukar kerja atau bertukar posisi dalam company

7.Mempunyai RM10,000 dalam pelbagai bentuk aset yg tidak boleh dicairkan dengan mudah…

8.Mengumpul barang-barang tembaga dgn begitu banyak.

9.Masih mengekalkan berhubungan baik dengan kawan2 sedarjah saya

10.Masih kekal ‘hot‘ di mata suami saya.

*Semua perkara-perkara ini amatlah penting dan tiada priority ke atasnya kerana semuanya adalah top priorities.

Jika perkara-perkara di atas tidak dapat dilaksanakan dengan baik….there is definitily lost time duration untuk untuk planning saya pada umur 35 tahun hingga 50 tahun.

p/s:Jika suamai saya benarkan, saya nak mewarnakan rambut saya berwarna merah sentiasa….hehehehe

*It’s been a while since my last poem so, here goes nothing…..

How Cinderella got her new shoes…

Once, Cinderella lost her shoe…

She left her glass shoe

In front of a taken prince

He followed her

Till the steps of  His holy house

And she followed him back

She waited for the prince

To give her other shoe back

But her charming prince never came..

And the glass shoe was lost..

Cinderella…Cinderella…

Her shoe was gone

So does the prince

But cry, she didn’t

But she knew inside

Her other glass shoe had shattered to pieces

And silently she wept..alone

Cinderella…Cinderella…

Then, one fine day..

A far away stranger,  walks to her

Presenting a box of  love letters

She smiled again

The stranger smiled back

Days pass by…

Months pass by…

Cinderella and the stranger

The stranger becomes her prince

And she was his poem of love

Cinderella…Cinderella…

The new prince and Cinderella declared

They promise

To see tomorrow, together..

It was a fair day..

At a mosque in a garden

Surrounded by lifetime loves

He vowed to God…and to her

Rings changes…a pearl and a silver

Smiles changes…from every lips in the garden

Kisses changes…from him to her

And tears shed…out of joy, not of sorrow

Cinderella…Cinderella…

Alas..Cinderella smiles…

It was the day Cinderella got her new glass shoes…

emmm...don't you just love bedtime stories.......

p/s:jikalau ada salah dan silap, sila dikomen ye…..love you hon….

June weddings at the Plaza...cliche....

See the picture above. Watched the movie last weekend with my sisters at home. So I practically got hooed with the phrase, “June wedding at the Plaza…”. Not that I’m having on the same situation…nearly but so happen to about 5 people I know…but it seems the approprite line to summarize the whole movie.

My darling soulmate is having her’s on the same date and I’m the bridesmaid. I’m looking forward to it…really? Though, deep inside I wished that after she got married she still have time to be my retail therapy partner, a.k.a shopping. But most of all, I really…really…really hope that guy that dumped her previously…would eat his own goth when he sees she’s marrying off. Bukanpa, aku paling benci orang tak menghormati kesucian kota Mekah ni and menipu bila berjanji dengan mak orang….it furiates me…  There…I said it.

So, when I think about weddings, I always picture it colourful, smiles,gold and lots of food for the heart, soul,eyes and all kinds of feedings of pleasures for the senses. So, I really, really, really hope that I have that kind of feeling. Though it amazes me how chaotic the preparation would be. But the fruit and the cream of those pain staking chores would be, for me…the time I smile or laugh when the akad is said. That would be the moment of my choice in the wedding. 

So, again I really hope I don’t cry on that day…but smile and laugh all the day….

p/s:Huh…aku takkan nangis on that day……no way…. I hope….

Dear blog…

Today I’m feeling uneasy. Mainly because I think there is a hollow in this mind of mine. I feel bored. I tried my best to see the light is this mess of life, specifically, work. I am grateful, this is the job that finances my wedding preparation, it pays my loans, keeps my phone with credit, fills my craving for KFC or McD when it concern. But I felt an unsatisfying emptiness inside. It’s like my days are not fullfilling myself. And the worst, I can’t do anything. Because my hands are bound. What am I fit for exactly?….This is my question for the day…..I’ll figure this out soon…or else…

Hate it…hate it…hate it…this feeling. Hope I got through it this day.

p/s:Give me bling bling and gems and I’ll trade myself to be a servant….huh…cliche…or not ?

This is how I like it....sitting on top of a giant diamond....

In these 2 weeks both my cousin and my best friends are getting married….and it is quite hectic with all the preparation. I just hope they’re goin to be happily ever after…

Then questions pops in my head. (While licking vanilla ice cream left in my spoon…..)

Q1:What do I think about marriage?

A1:

Positive side: cool,sexited+sexercise,love,happy,commitment,loyal,tolerance,honour…and freedom…

Negative side:chores,somebody’s dandruff on my pillow,obligation,time,closed option,tv,diapers…and maybe less time for myself….

Q2:Why do I want to get married…or to be married?

A2:For me, I got no choice…..for him,sex….(Which is worst…?)

Q3:What do you want in your marriage?

A3:For me; sexercise,shopping,house,bed,kids,more money,happiness,love,companionship..care….

For him;sex….and me (of course for his piece of mind…thinking if I’m not with him, he cannot take it if I’m somebody’s else…).

While looking for ice cream pictures, I found this ice cream .

p/s:Sometimes, I had this craving for an ice cream and it really bugs me in the future if he won’t come along with it….hmmmm…..

wow...ni cam best....

Wink…wink…

Apa tu?….macam menarik ja….

Kenyit mata la abang….

Kenyit mata ja?…ala…

…   ….      …..   udah…jangan pikir lain…

p/s:abang…i love you tapi kekadang saya sangat merasakan abang ni poyo tau tak….

rasanya this quite describe his imagination....

A week ago…I would have been terrified to walk to the street in my neighbourhood…now..I am ok. What happen, happen and maybe it’s someboby’s misfortune but another person’s lesson…I hope…